Tis the Seasoning
by Burst.ofSILENCE
Summary: NicoRachel with slight PercyAnnabeth OneShot. In which Nico messes with Rachel's cooking, and Rachel messes with Nico on Christmas. The Oracle, forbidden from having a relationship? Tch. More like forbidden from the kitchen.


**I should totally work on my other works-in-progress but what the heck. Here's a NicoRachel && PercyAnnabeth Christmas oneshot!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson... Pretend I inserted something witty here.**

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**'Tis the Seasoning**  
_Forbidden from the kitchen, my ass._

"...Rach? What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, di Angelo?"

"It looks like you're trying to burn down the building. Oracle or not, even you can't foresee the dangers of your cooking."

The twenty-four-year-old Oracle spun around and glared at him. "_One time_. I burned down your apartment kitchen _once._ The fire wasn't even _that_ bad–"

"You were making a sandwich! Last I checked, kitchens aren't supposed to combust when you put cheese on a bun." He stared at her, daring her to contradict him. She stared back and, after a few moments, sighed in exasperation. She held out the wooden spatula in her hand.

"You seriously can't be this infuriating all the time, can you?" She muttered as he triumphantly strode forward and took the utensil from her.

"Only to you, Red." He winked. Rachel rolled her eyes as he took a spoon from one of the drawers. He dipped the spoon into the pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove and tasted it. "Hmm. Not bad. How many trials did you do?" She scoffed at him.

"What, you don't think I could have gotten it on the first try?" Nico raised an eyebrow. "...Three." He smiled, satisfied.

"See? Now was that so hard to admit?"

The Oracle muttered something along the lines of: _'Damn you, di Angelo.'_ The son of Hades just chuckled, opening a cupboard and grabbing some spices. "What are you doing?"

"Adding a little something extra."

"Which is...?"

"It's a secret." He winked again, causing Rachel to snort.

"Secret, my ass."

"Trust me. The sauce is gonna taste better with this."

"...Was that another subtle insult to my culinary skills?"

"Maybe."

She leaned against one of the counters, glowering at him as he set to work, tasting the sauce from time to time. Just because he was the cook between them didn't mean he had free reign to tell her that her cooking sucked (even though it did, most of the time).

Despite this, Rachel had to admit: there was something attractive about a man who could cook. And Nico di Angelo was one _very_ attractive man. Twenty looked unbelievably good on him. He was tall, with a lean body which caught the eyes of more than enough women on a daily basis. Broad shoulders, toned arms; _damn_ could he wear the hell out of a simple t-shirt. And – oh gods – don't get her started on his face. Angled features, dark hair falling over mesmerizing dark eyes, an aristocratic nose, high cheekbones, and... a red splotch on the corner of his lip? Must've been the spaghetti sauce...

_Hold on; idea coming up._

"You have some sauce on your lip." She pointed out. Before he could reach up and wipe it away, Rachel grabbed his arm. "No, let me."

Standing on her tiptoes (and mentally cursing Nico for being so damn tall), she reached up and placed her lips on the corner of his mouth, making sure that she only stayed where the red splotch was. Her lips moved softly, sucking slightly as they steadily cleaned the spaghetti sauce off of Nico's face.

"_Shit,_ Rachel." He gasped, hands instinctively gripping her hips as she planted one last kiss. She didn't pull away once she was finished, though. Instead, she shifted so that her lips were right at his ear.

"Mmm, you're right. It tastes _much_ better now." She whipered, grinning wickedly. Nico groaned and moved swiftly, switching their positions. Now, Rachel was trapped between him and the counter, but not for long. He lifted her up so that she was sitting on the counter, hands still on her hips. Nico glared at her half-heartedly as their noses brushed.

"You're going to be the death of me someday, Dare." The Oracle of Delphi nonchalantly played with his dark hair.

"Too bad, I kind of like having you around as my boyfriend." She gave his hair a little tug, which caused Nico to groan and crash his lips onto hers. Rachel smiled against his mouth. Revenge was sweet.

Kissing Nico? _Definitely better._

The whole kissing thing had begun a few months ago when they started dating (after a rather strange incident that involved elephants in tutus). Gods only knew how many times they found themselves attached at the lips since then. Not that they were complaining.

Of course, since Rachel was the current Oracle of Delphi, they didn't tell anyone. Nobody but them knew of the relationship. That is, until Percy and Annabeth caught them kissing. The son of Poseidon and daughter of Athena took it pretty well, though. Much to Nico's horror, they found it terribly amusing that there was somebody with a relationship far more forbidden than their Romeo-and-Juliet situation.

Speaking of Percy and Annabeth, Rachel had invited them over to her apartment (penthouse, really) for a Christmas dinner. Hence, all the cooking. They should be arriving soon–

"Hey guys! Me and Annabeth are– Whoa." Nico and Rachel pulled apart, their hair messy and their breathing hard. Both Oracle and demigod stared at the newcomers by the kitchen door.

Percy smirked. "Since when did 'making dinner' translate to 'making out'?" Rachel and Nico rolled their eyes and proceeded to untangle themselves from each other (Apparently, her legs had wrapped around his torso at some point in the past five minutes). Nico helped Rachel down the counter as she spoke up.

"Please, Percy. We've walked in on you and Annabeth doing far worse than we were–"

"That was _one time_ Dare!"

"–How'd you two get in here, anyway?"

Annabeth's lip quirked in amusement. "Spare key under the mat. You really should think of a more original hiding spot, Rach. Anyway, enough of that. Percy, go help Nico with whatever he's making. Rachel, can you let go of your boyfriend long enough for him to finish cooking?"

Rachel grinned. "Probably not, but I'll try." She gave Nico one last peck on the lips before hooking her arm with Annabeth's, bringing her to the living room. As they left the kitchen, Percy and Nico continued the task of making dinner.

"Alright! So what dessert d'you want me to make, cuz?"

"Surprise me."

"You know, I still can't believe that Percy can cook at all." Rachel pondered as the two women sat on the sofa. Astonishingly, Percy was was a master at making desserts. It had become a system over the years. Whenever the four were together, Nico would cook dinner and Percy would serve some kind of heavenly dessert. Annabeth shrugged.

"It probably comes with being Sally's son. She says hi, by the way." The redhead smiled – she missed Mrs. Blofis – and then sighed.

"I should find a better place to hide my house key, shouldn't I?" Annabeth nodded.

"You should. Seriously, Rach? Under the mat? With your key in a place like that, anyone could've walked in on you and Nico in the kitchen. You're lucky Percy and I actually approve." She was trying to sound admonishing, but the teasing smile on her lips did not help. Rachel scoffed good-naturedly.

"Like you're one to talk, _Juliet._ How's Athena taking the news, by the way?" The blonde demigod laughed.

"I can't hide anything from the Oracle, can I?" She said, lifting her left hand to look at the stunning white-gold engagement ring there. "Mom took it pretty well. So far, she hasn't tried anything to potentially dismember Percy. Though, there have been a strange number of owls popping up and giving him the stink eye. You should've seen his face when a barn owl interrupted his shower." Rachel cracked up along with her.

A few minutes later, they managed to calm down. For a few moments, the two women just sat there, content. It wasn't everyday they got to relax like this. Fortunately, the fates were feeling kind enough to grant them one peaceful night. Hey, even millennia-old grannies had some Christmas spirit.

Of course, they knew that once Christmas was over, they'd be back to decapitating monsters, dealing with crazy relatives, and spouting prophecies of gloom and doom. But who in their right mind wanted to worry about that during Christmas? Annabeth and Rachel were perfectly happy there, lounging on the couch and listening to the two cousins preparing their food in the kitchen.

"Hey Nico, where's the cinnamon?"

"Third cupboard on the left."

"Thanks, dude."

Slowly, Annabeth turned to Rachel and grinned, a devious glint in her eyes. "Wanna go see what our boys are up to?"

The redhead quirked an eyebrow, amused. "Won't we just mess everything up?" If anybody had worse luck than Rachel Elizabeth Dare in the kitchen, it was Annabeth Chase. There's a reason why the blonde and her fiancee survived on take-out.

"Come on, Dare! Where's your Christmas spirit? Let's have a little _fun._" Rachel laughed, giving in. It wasn't everyday one saw Annabeth's mischievous streak. She stood up and follwed the blonde back into the kitchen.

_Aw, hell. Why not? 'Tis the season, after all._

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**Sorry for the overly-cliche plotline. But I just _had_ to put in cooking!Nico and just-desserts!Percy.**

**Please review and Happy Holidays everyone!**


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